the essence of wonder

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~

To see a World in a grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

 ~

A while ago, I had the pleasure of visiting one of the great Wonders of the World: Niagara Falls. There I stood, at the foot of a cliff, with only a railing keeping me from plummeting into the raging gorge. Below me, gallons upon gallons of water freely fell. I was surrounded by people from different countries who came to see one of America’s great scenes. It was surreal.

I can only imagine what it would have been like when there was nothing but barren land surrounding the falls like a picture frame, with nothing for miles, and you can only hear the deafening rush of water. And now, I can only close my eyes and imagine the wind and mist kissing my face like a long lost friend. Sometimes I think we take for granted these moments, the ones filled with innocent wonder.

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I’m still taken aback by flying in a plane with clouds below me. When I was a little girl, I was just like any other little kid, wanting to know what it would be like to fly. I even wondered what it might be like to walk amongst clouds. There’s something about reality that takes away the charm and beauty of life. It’s hard to make out the art in the world around us within the constant hustle bustle of daily life. Everything we see has become a routine, we’re used to it, and thus, we have become visually impaired.

But you see, in the height of impossibility, there is wonder. In the essence of wonder, there is art and beauty and a pure resilience. There is life. And in life there all three of these things are present. I close my eyes and I can see moments in my life that are sheer wonder and brilliance that I’ve never noticed before. It’s in silence as I stared into the firelight glow while waiting for conversation to start between the rest of my companions; it’s in the starlight as I gazed at it with tired, yet wide eyes; it’s in the bright Autumn air as I followed the ones I loved through wooded hills, our feet crunching fallen leaves on the ground. It’s all there. In every moment and in every silent word, there was wonderment.

 

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Honestly, it doesn’t matter what you’re looking at,

the beauty is there.

You may not understand what I mean; you may not grasp what I’m trying to say. The thing is, the essence of this wonder I am trying to write about isn’t something I can easily put into words. It’s not explainable. You have to experience it for yourself. And when you do, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

 

If you have ever been to a place that nearly takes your breath away because it’s so beautiful, or perhaps there is a person in your life that simply amazes you to the point where you have no words to say, just silence stands between you and them, yet both of you know—your hearts know—that’s it. When you see something, and it makes you feel as though time and space have come to a halt, that is it.

 

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That is wonder. That is beauty.

That is art.

And my friend, that is not something you want to let go of. Looking down at the infinite fall of water reminds me that it’s all here. Every piece of life that revolves around me holds a portion of uncontainable iridescence. We just think that it’s out of our grasp. In all we see and hear, we are accustom to believing we have seen it all. In the midst of the pain, heartache, loneliness, and vulnerability of life, we expect very little and yet so much, when in reality, we’ve experienced and seen very little. Everyday, there is something knew and beautiful to see—diamonds hidden away just waiting for us to dig them out.

 

I want to look at things with wonder and excitement, as though today is my last. Because, as cliché as it sounds, it’s real and true that I may not see tomorrow. I want to hold onto each moment, each little wonder I find in life, because the next thing you know, it’ll be gone. Take it from me; I know what it’s like to lose. But I’ve learned to never forget the best of what I’ve seen.

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i’m going on an adventure

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You are a storyteller and an adventurer.

Most of us have grown accustom to forgetting where we came from and how we got to this point. We forget that we were once children, playful and imaginative. Red lips and rosy cheeks, running around the house without a care in the world, being exactly who we wanted to be at that specific moment.

I often sit down and take a look back, wondering how I got to the point when I had to remind myself to laugh sometimes because life has gotten the best of me. How in the world did that come about? There was a time when laughter and happiness were all I ever cared about, when nothing could take away who I wanted to be, and I believed in myself.

But you see, it doesn’t have to be that way. You are the character of your own story; every day you wake up, you are on the verge of another chapter, another adventure awaits you, or perhaps it’s a continuation of yesterday’s story that left a cliffhanger. In the end, your story is all you have that is yours and yours alone to tell. You don’t owe it to anyone except yourself to make the most of every word, sentence, paragraph and page.

Whatever dreams and aspirations you have, don’t give up on them. Just remember how it was when you were a little kid, dreams were all you had and you believed in them so much that you could almost taste them in reality. It’s still the same. You can be whatever you choose to be if you put your mind to do it. If you want to be a taco, be a taco. (Okay I’m obviously not serious about that, but you get my point, right?)

What else? Smile. I think we all need to learn how to smile more, no matter what situation we’re in. And I don’t mean a fake, I’m-smiling-because-I-have-to smile. A real, smile that lights up your face and shows your passions inside of you. Life is complicated, and at times, yeah, you’ll have to remind yourself to show a bit of brightness to your face; but you know, you’ll find that in doing so, you’ll brighten up the faces of those you come in contact with. You don’t have to kill yourself over what happens to you on a day to day basis—that’s not what you’re here for. Enjoy what time you’ve got, and when life is good, don’t take the seconds for granted. Take time to remember them.

You’re going to make it. I believe in you. Now it’s time to believe in yourself.

the little things

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This week was beautiful.

I don’t know what it was about this week, there wasn’t much to it that was different from any other—it just was. Maybe it was the weather, chilled and bright; blue skies and sunny. Maybe it’s just nostalgia, as if I’m just encountering emotions from old memories.

It’s weird really. But I’m not the kind to question Happiness. I look at it this way: Sometimes you have to sit down for a second and take things in. Happiness is an emotion that you have to grasp right away and hold tight to or is drifts off on the wind. Really, it doesn’t take much—or at least it shouldn’t—to find steady Happiness.

All you have to do is stand still, take a deep breath,and observe life through the eyes of your heart.Weather or not the sky is bright and clear,you will find something to smile about.

Looking back at this week, it was the little moments of recognition, things around me that you wouldn’t normally notice. For me, it doesn’t take much…

 

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 i. feeling the crisp breeze blow through my hair

ii. wearing a thin sweater because I thought it was warm outside (and to me it was)

iii. looking at two year old photographs

iv. singing out songs to the radio

v. hearing the song that always takes me down memory lane

vi. playing my guitar

vii. playing my piano

viii. writing words that only I can understand

ix. looking at the stars

x. feeling that love all over again

 

it’s the little things that make me happy.

drinking my cup of nostalgia

 

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Missing the cool, Missouri mornings that whisper “good morning” through the trees. Missing the beauty of walking in that cold air, feeling it hit my skin, waking me up. Missing everything that came and went; grew and dissipated with the wind. Time came and time went, like the fog at dawn, lingering for only a moment and then was gone. If only we could go back, now we’re only left with the memories; frozen inside the photographs.

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Seconds, minutes, hours, days, sealed shut between pages of black and white, woven with color. The laughter, the music, all lost in space and time, held together by scenes only our minds can play back. If you close your eyes, you can see it, hear it, breathe it, feel it, all over again. Open your eyes and it vanishes, all that’s left is that blazing desire for what was to replace what is.

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Remember those nights? The nights that seemed to go on forever, yet were fleeting by, along with Autumn’s gentle wind passing through the trees. The days we went dancing through the dark, looking at the stars. Remember the mornings that echoed with the sounds of people singing, not even caring if they were sharp or flat? No one cared; all they wanted was that joy that floated through that same air and into the souls of those around them. We all felt it, craved it.

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It’s so easy to take for granted the Moments. You know, the ones where you forget to take those minutes in because you’re too busy snapping photos on your phone so that you can post it on Facebook or Instagram. You know, the seconds that fly by so quickly that you didn’t see that Once In A Lifetime Priceless Image that flashed right before your eyes just because someone sent you a text message. Or perhaps you missed a moment that would have made a great photograph because you were busy with something less important.

Sometimes we just have to let the Moments play in slow motion with us watching them happen without any distraction. Let them record into the workings of your memory so you can play them back later. You may not remember everything, but the feelings that came with that moment will stay with you. It’s been painted into your soul.

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“we made these memories for ourselves.

where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken,

time’s forever frozen still…”

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 Hear it? Feel it? Close your eyes, what do you see? Maybe the memories are fuzzy, but they are there. Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on her? Do you remember the last time you felt his touch? Only yesterday they were right there beside you, now gone, sketched into photographs. Now the air is cold, with a tint of nostalgia floating through the air. No matter how much we want the time back, they are sealed shut behind a door that we will never be able to enter ever again. But we’ll remember.

Missing that time, holding onto the souvenirs I gathered when I was there.