what if…?

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volumes of silence

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This is something I wrote sometime ago that I never published, but it is still relevant today.

I take a deep breath, exhale, then repeat, breathing out all the chaos and irritations of life. For days I’ve watched the madness encircle even the ones closest to me. I shrink back.

It’s a constant struggle, watching and observing the hectic bustle of daily life. There’s so  much noise. Yelling, screaming, calling out for our voices to be heard over the din. We’re always trying so hard to lose our vocal chords just so that we might be heard.

Hear Me.

Pain, bitterness, hate. These are the voices that breathe the loudest in this world. They flash out in great big neon letters, lighting up the darkness without truly illuminating it. It’s often hard to see the hurt of the person in front of you when you’re being blinded by these colors of emotion.

We live in a world where no one seems to notice the dark corners and hallways where the wallflowers and shadowplayers linger. To be honest, they’re no different than anyone else. They, too, have plugged their ears to the deafening cries of humanity. So if we’re all fighting for our voices to be heard, what’s the point?

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Love speaks in volumes of silence. In fact, it is so soft, you could almost miss it. In the midst of the anger and rage, it whispers. Then it listens. You see, there are pieces of Silence being passed around by the few who take the time to shut up and turn down their own cries of anguish. They have mastered this beautiful art. They can see beyond the bright lights and hear the language spoken in the spaces where the noise stops.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just rambling here. Maybe I am just another voice in the boiling chaos. All I want out of this is to cause you to reflect on where you stand in the whirlwind that is this world. Because honestly, there are plenty of people to make up for the madness. But when was the last time you shut your mouth and opened your heart?

When was the last time you listened?

When was the last time you heard?

perfection

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I’m a bit late to the party. A month late to be exact. It’s only that I’ve been contemplating just what I wanted to say to begin this year. And in reflection upon my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve become fearful of my own thoughts; I’ve allowed myself to become complacent in this frame of mind that nothing I create will be perfect enough. It’s true though, and this is not myself wallowing in self-pity either. This is the hard truth, one I have been struggling in coming to terms with.

Nothing I can say or do will ever be perfect enough for this world. I may create a story or song that I place all my emotions into, but to someone else it may not be enough to reach into their heart. I may write a billion tweets, gain millions of followers all over social media, and still it wouldn’t be enough. There will always be someone who will find fault in what I’ve said or done. Maybe I will never measure up. But maybe that is not the point.

 

Perfectionism is  a lie. But we are expected to live up to it.

 

The world is a loud place. In some cases, it feels hellish. We all are screaming for perfection both in ourselves and in those around us. The problem is how different each and every one of us are. We want to squeeze everyone into our bubble of excellence. Then again, your neighbor is doing the exact same thing to you. It’s a war out there, and you’re in the middle of it whether you signed up for it or not. But that makes you a soldier, a warrior, with weapons that are yours for the taking. So use them.

There is a saying that says, “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. I don’t think I could have expressed my sentiments more effectively. We expect so much, and forget that life and our dreams are worthy of more than to be given a mere rating by people who have very little understanding. This mindset is what gets us into trouble. We don’t respect ourselves because others don’t. Honestly, I believe that is a key to success. Respect yourself and respect your art.

 

Life is a fragile gift and so are the dreams in our hearts.

 

I’ll never be perfect enough for anyone. My words may not reach into the heart of one person the way it might to someone else. But there lies the beauty. If I can inspire one person in my lifetime, I say that should be enough. The importance here is that I allowed my dreams to live. That is my goal not only for this year, but for the rest of my life.

If you’re reading this, give yourself a chance. Forget being a perfectionist. Allow yourself to live beyond your minds eye. Take chances. Don’t just live a little, live a lot. Aim for the stars, and don’t listen to those who say it’s impossible.

Take courage and have faith in your dreams.

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